Caliban

No point going round calling myself a writer if I'm not doing anything with it. Easy trap to fall into, that one. Like calling yourself a sculptor or a doctor of philosophy or something. Very difficult to disprove. I know a fella claimed to be the spider monkey handler at Belfast Zoo, and he got away with that. I suppose you're not going to get asked to demonstrate your technique unless you're in the bar, making this claim, and someone runs up to you wide-eyed and shaking and says "Oh thank God you're here! There's a rabid spider monkey scampering around the place, biting and dry-riding all and sundry!" You'd have to come clean at that point.
The same with literature. You're not going to have someone come running up with pen and paper and implore you for a couple of chapters about the Spanish Civil War. But fuckit, I start the nine to five again next week, so I've a week to batter out at least a short story. It'll be about a man and his mirror. I'll tell you how I get on.